Letter to my baby girl

Dear Scarlett,

I'm just lying here in bed wide awake as I do most nights now thinking about you and also waiting for my next trip to the bathroom. I am 37 weeks now with you and you are healthy strong and full term. I am so incredibly thankful and happy that you have made it to this point and now can be born at any moment and be healthy.

I feel all I have been doing recently is anxiously awaiting your arrival wishing and hoping you come sooner rather then later. And while I am so excited to meet you, I got a little sad tonight feeling you do your nightly aerobics in my belly. Sad because I have so enjoyed every moment of this pregnancy, even the uncomfortable moments of being 9+months pregnant. And i am going to miss having those pregnancy moments with you. And then I realized I haven't really documented my pregnancy at all besides general updates, so I thought I'd start now.

Some pregnancy highlights:
1) August 7th 2011- it was a Sunday 20 minutes before church that I took the pregnancy test that changed our lives forever. We were shocked and overjoyed. It was one of the happiest moments in my life. I absolutely couldn't believe there was a little baby growing inside of me!
2) 14 weeks into the pregnancy we found out that we were most likely having a girl, which was verified at 18 weeks. I had had many dreams by this point of having a baby girl and was so excited to hear you were heading our way. I have always wanted a daughter and now you are making my dreams come true.
3) this may seem like a weird highlight but I wasn't that sick during my first trimester. Exhausted? Yes. Loss of appetite? Absolutely. But that's about it. While I was grateful I was able to skip over the typical morning sickness symptoms, part of me felt like I was missing out on part of the pregnancy experience. Until one day while I was eating one of my favorites (tomato soup) I had the sudden urge to throw up. And I did! I dont know why but I thought this was so funny and exciting that I called up my sisters and friends and bragged about it. I'm weird I know. But to me it was a reassurance that you really were in there and I felt strangely connected to you. Also it made me realize I wasn't really missing out on those morning sickness symptoms ;)
4) your first movements and every movement after. I felt you move inside me very early on. Like a tiny little fluttering every now and then. The you got stronger and starting flipping and kicking. The first time Doug felt you move, he kept his hand on my belly the whole rest of the night to try and feel it again. Since then we love to feel you and now watch you move and distort my stomach in so many ways.
5) seeing and hearing your heartbeat for the first time. Doug and I recorded it on our phones and listened to it multiple times over. It amazed us how there could be this tiny and strong little heartbeat thumping inside me, and the miracle of nature and how your little body knew exactly what it needed to do.
6) watching my belly grow from flat to frumpy to lumpy to bumpy to why hello there you like youre going to pop! I have felt so happy and satisfied watching you grow bigger and seeing my body make the appropriate changes to grow with you. It makes me feel proud that I have a happy healthy baby growing inside of me and that my body is able to handle the adjustments it needs to make for you.
7) the 9+months of being headache free. I wish I could bottle this hormone and take it everyday because it has been the miracle drug for my headaches.
8) cravings. I haven't had anything weird just a desire to eat more of things I don't normally eat a lot of. The first was artichokes. This lasted a handful of months. The next was jack in the box curly fries. Not going to lie, I still love these. 3rd was homemade nestle toll house chocolate chip cookies. Had to have these every night for a while. The longest and biggest craving I've had though has been fruit smoothies. I have 1 to 2 of these a day and still can't get enough of them. In fact I kind of want one now.

There are so many more highlights but this is getting incredibly long, so to sum up, i have enjoyed every minute of being pregnant with you. The ups and downs. The exciting big news days and the seemingly regular days (where it's just me who gets to feel you move around). I love sharing those secret moments with you.

I've been getting very nervous and a little scared recently about this impending delivery. You will learn that I am a lightweight when it comes to pain. But today when I was mulling over all the scary details in my head, I stopped and thought for a second what the experience will be like for you. You will be leaving your warm quiet and comfortable home in the womb and be exposed to loud sounds, bright lights and many people. And then I thought how scary and different coming into this world for you might feel. The first chance I get however I am going to wrap you in my arms and hold you close to me and make you feel as warm and safe as possible. I can't wait for the moment when our eyes first meet and we recognize each other. No one is going to love you more than me and Doug. We have loved you from the moment we found out we were pregnant. Even before because we wanted you so badly. You also have two sets of amazing grandparents and many aunts and uncles awaiting your arrival and who will also shower you with love.

I love you so much now and know I'll just love you ten times over once I meet you. I am so excited for your arrival, but I'm also enjoying these last few moments of it being just you and me. Your dad and I pray for you every night and are so excited to be your parents. I know that we will make many mistakes learning how to be parents, but know that we are trying our best and love you more than you'll ever know.

Until we meet-I love you.
Love,
Your mama